What the Sussexes’ body language reveals: a therapist’s view

The Royals haven’t always been great at expressing their feelings. They tend to shut down when confronted with emotion.

And so it was with a keen eye that I sat down to watch the Sussexes’ tell-all interview with Oprah Winfrey. I’m a behavioural psychologist specialising in relationships. I carry out psychological assessments on contestants in television programmes, from Big Brother to Love in the Countryside. It’s my job to observe human behaviour on screen; to read between the lines and find out what lurks beneath a person’s exterior.

The Duke clearly looked uncomfortable during parts of the interview, especially when Winfrey asked him about racial issues. He appeared agitated; his eyes fell to the ground, and he fiddled with his wedding ring (his father, the Prince of Wales, does the same thing when feeling anxious). The Duke comes from a background in which he is not expected to spill his most innermost thoughts and secrets in such a high-profile forum; his discomfort is hardly surprising.

But I was most struck by how close the couple seemed, with their hands locked tightly together for most of the interview. They presented a united front, repeatedly glancing at one another for reassurance. They finished each other’s sentences – especially when the Duke touched on issues he found difficult.

At one point, the Duchess said: “Harry… made a decision that saved my life and saved all of us. But you need to want to be saved.” This talk of salvation comes from the language of therapy and self-care. The Sussexes both had difficult upbringings; it seems to me they can understand each other in a way that few of their friends or peers can.

When discussing his brother, the Duke said: “I love William to bits. We’ve been through hell together and we have a shared experience, but we are on different paths. The relationship is space at the moment.” The Duke’s use of this interesting and curious word “space” sounds again like the sort of phrase you might hear in therapy. It’s a soft, Californian way to suggest a cooling of relations – without closing the door entirely.

The Duke also said several times that he felt “trapped” in the Royal Family. It’s an interesting term to use, implying feelings of suffocation on Harry’s part. He clearly feels boxed in by the conventions and traditions of the institution into which he was born. Now, in his eyes, he’s escaped.